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User blog:Bobdave/Epic Rap Battles: Modern vs Classic. Tupac vs Bach
The second ternionic segment of Epic Rap Battles: Modern vs Classic has officially begun! Yay! More bullshit graphics! If you're wondering about your promised audio covers, they're still coming and I promise to do all of them. Onto the battle! This battle was suggested by Kiren (as are like all the battles I do) as well as others probably but the only one I found was Kiren's so phllpt. I'm currently up at 4 AM finishing up this blog because graphics take hours. Including another instance of me colourising a picture that was in black and white because fuck it. Then later I found an already-coloured version on images which made me want to kick my monitor but yes. It's all done now so please enjoy it or I'll cry. This battle has a guest! (Who could it be????) I'll tell you, bracketed voice! It's TK! (Is she one of the title rappers?) No! (Then there's another rapper in this?) Ye- I mean no, shut up, why would you think that. I honestly can't tell if these ramblings are humourous or just indicative of my extreme exhaustion. We have West-Coast rapper and poet, Tupac Shakur, going up against Baroque composer, Johann Sebastian Bach. Wait and see if there's another rapper! I bet I'll surprise you! Let's do this, babycheeks. WARNING: Motherflipping gangstas ---- Instrumental: Hard West Coast Beat by OutRida (Intro is for the first 8 bars) 'Johann Sebastian Bach:' Maestro, flip to track B, I'll be slamming on the black keys It's going Back-to-Back in this Bach-Tupac rap beef So yes, let's go! I know you rep the West Coast But I'm a Bad Boy Baroquist, you're Trapped on Death Row (Oh!) Your Family Tree is Harlem's hard-earned Crooks Everything you spit's predictable as your tedious hooks You think you're threatening me wearing that bunny bandana? Man, I'll turn your whole crew against you like Black Panthers I'll diss you in triplicate with my intricate lines Then I'll flip you on your head and burn you three more times Homie, stick to those tomes of sanctimonious poetry 'Fore you choke, I'll just strangle this chump with his own rosary 'Tupac Shakur:' Some say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice But I say the fatter the Jerry the weaker the dukes I'm speaking the truth, you're ancient, your act's obsolete And you may have gone blind, but it's All Eyez on Me You claim to be a player, but you fucked your cousin And I ain't gonna lie, you hit that shit like percussion Had twenty damn kids with two different wives And like your cantatas, only half survived Why you Haydn? Can't you Handel how I'm Chopin this beat? Is rich boy mad he's getting trashed by a punk offa the streets? So come, poser, if your plump ass is gunnin' for this young'un I suggest you surrender, ditch the schnitzel and start Runnin' 'Johann Sebastian Bach:' That's your counterpoint, Pac? I'm really not seeing the gangsta Quit rap, and go back to being a backup dancer I got the Passion and superior fashion to outclass you No need to ask Nas, this will be your last rap feud You're weak, that's my 7 Day Theory My concertos stay cheery, while your anti-white laments are sehr dreary Look, I Ain't Mad at Cha, but you've been dissing my crew So I can still beat your ass even if Only God Can Judge You Promoting faith and social justice while you fester in a cell But no one seems to recall that fateful night in the hotel Because your manager's a criminal as well! So you deserve every shot you got, Lesane, send me a postcard from hell! Bach guns down Tupac Mama's boy shizcoff Wait, what happened to the beat? Ah, scheiße 'The Notorious B.I.G.:' (Biggie!) Uh, kick in the door, still wavin’ the four four Storming the Kraut’s chords, why you wanna go to war for? Por favor, don’t start what you can’t perform The Lord in his Notorious form; tell me, who’s got the better score? I’ve settled them before. Don’t go toe-to-toe with someone you should follow, fam You’re fucked up in the head! You’re rapping against a goddamn hologram So get with the program; this calls for an Oktoberfest celebration (Biggie!) Makin’ and takin’ home the bacon like it’s Californication This shit’s Kafkaesque, grotesque when I make orders with my feet on the desk And it’s perfects; the best thing from your time was women in burlesque Don’t get nervous, Bach, you were outplayed by a six year old retard So if you think Pac got no talent, you’re more Dead Wrong than we are I’m waiting for you to make a move, you have high stakes to lose Break a few bones on my way to the Mühlhausen pews (Biggie!) will show up to your Broadway and cause dismay all on your play So don’t start a beef with someone who can eat the whole buffet, teach. 'Announcer:' WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? EPIC RAP BATTLES (The logo is gunned down, but a hologram of it appears in its place) MODERN VS CLASSIC ---- Hints explained Back to Back, as referenced in this battle, sounds like Bach-Tupac. It's a diss track by Canadian rapper Drake. Hints for the next battle Coming soon... WHO WON? Bach Tupac and Biggie If you hadn't realised, TK played Biggie and did a fantastic job of it. Very glad she was able and willing to help out, really finished this battle off well. Category:Blog posts